Nerd Talk: Elon Musk Is Straight Up Selling Flamethrowers

You'll Burn Your Face Off!

January 31, 2018

Dreamstime

The cool part about being a gazillionaire is that you get to do whatever the crap you want. "I wanna go to Mars" builds a rocket company. "I hate traffic" builds a tunneling company for an underground rollercoaster. "I wanna sell hats" comes up with a scheme where if people buy a total of 50,000 Boring Company hats, he'd for real offer a F****** flamethrower for sale.

Say hello to my little friend …

A post shared by Elon Musk (@elonmusk) on

The life of Elon Musk must be awesome. Pre-orders are now underway to get your own life hazard and endanger everyone around you, an official The Boring Company flamethrower. "Well that can't be legal" you certainly say whilst reading this.

Evidently, as long as the flame is under TEN FEET you can totally have a flamethrower OBVIOUSLY. Dude, ten feet is serious business. Here's Elon using his in a totally uncool/unsafe office environment. MY TPS REPORTS!

Don’t do this. Also, I want to be clear that a flamethrower is a super terrible idea. Definitely don’t buy one. Unless you like fun.

A post shared by Elon Musk (@elonmusk) on

This thing is $500 and promises some impressive stuff:

"Guaranteed to liven up any party!"
and
"World's safest flamethrower!" riiiiiight.

PLUS, if you act now, you can get this bonus offer:

"Buy an overpriced Boring Company fire extinguisher! You can definitely buy one for less elsewhere, but this one comes with a cool sticker and the button is conveniently riiight above." It must be that black bottle thing shown in the photos. Also, if you don't have an extinguisher and you do have a flamethrower, you're the type of person who is not driving me anywhere in any vehicle ever.

I 100% want to try this but will 100% burn my damn face off. I love that people like Musk do insane things like this.