DOUG STANHOPE 12.21.17..mp3

Thursday, December 21st


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

It wouldn't be an end of the year but this is I think the new book stand hopes and probably a third at. Close Miller halfway through it. And it's hard covered Mormon TO from hookers. And go and screw that radio people and television view I just I'll walk you through some of these stores let him tell him some rumors and gun game that can stand it. I honestly like blink you had to stop and I looked around the room is second show somebody what the paragraph I just read. About the effects of fat babies on hookers midsection with a hook up. Born march 25 in Worcester Massachusetts. He began his comedy career in 1990 from winning the San Francisco international comedy. Competition and making appearances at such legendary festivals as Montreal just for laughs. The US comedy arts festival with the Edinburgh fringe festival. He's hosted comedy central's the man show as well as his comedy specials for no real thoughts. Beer hall putsch. And no place like home and you've read his book big you know mother and now he has an all new book. This is not fit. Please welcome longtime friend of the shelf and understandable. You get up. Yeah I just want to get up at all. And elect an up and realize how lucky I am not really ever have to get out. I realized hey I can get up early and have a boat where it happens to enact. Light up the cigarette and ordered not to follow up. And and this is not aimed by the way. That I was afraid after digging a mother that might not be any more drug hookers when people stories and apparently there's a never ending tirade of them. A lick. I dug up flooding in the bank. You Ers are gonna tell you there there's some stuff in there which is down. There's some some great poker moments and just some descriptive. Just like oh my god he's a genius and the fact that you know it's a 100% true. It's the use he's a comedian at that these guys if it doesn't stand a patent you can correct we dug about all. I think you get as much joy at people laughing and you get the same amount of to a of people being angry when you're on that state. Oh my god I I I I really think that. If I would turning in this draft day for that book rather than three months ago they might it might. Our not put it out because. Of that book you'd act and eat you. What other people getting fired for. It brick like really get businesses obviously closed my heart you know if you commit inured my favorite guest but. You screw with country western shows like country a country those those at an awful Nash music ones and walking their car. I had to do that stuff when you're doing a full week club they'll go to yard. The Celtic get cynical lot every every radio show eight simple except you what the blob or not. Billion your credential up and either you you're gonna be honest they'll hate you would throw you off or you get. Pretend to be middle of the road and that people show up you get. At all. But his thing his joy was going straight pro bush straight. I love this country you get out of you don't want us I mean just the most redneck and they come out in droves like Jesus and Larry the Cable Guy or shall. The Evernote right after the election when George Bush get reelected earlier in Shreveport. Attribute. All right wing country radio. The number one they should we get instead of screw them let them get where I want. Hardcore rightwing. You look bush stuck it Michael Moore. And they loved it and people that eight out. Expecting escapee. Back. And we just let it get regular access people leaving him toward the offense they left. The vacuums more the only worse right. It's a long week stating your gut peer freight gets it it wears dark yeah. But hungry it's. Two pounds lead to address the audience and be like yeah with the way you are the reasons why it was BS. I've read you're gonna hate us we're gonna make you pay for the tickets I thought. It's for free on the radio. Today you know. I thought they'd be bitter. The fact that there at the they get a little Coke one night. And he gets me about 2 AME realize he's got but yet another morning we're notes that radio it's the got to go to television. So you talk a local guy to go in as you. Gadget pure electric car career a lot of remote berg told good morning interest go to TV show. It's somewhat remote from area a car show that this Saturday morning at Marshall are sold outside quietly doing that subject. Advertising that club. For now. Help me at all. It just gets some locals who local comic but I do it below the middle of the eight. Ago hey you are led to a TV tomorrow as me. It doesn't years younger than me he's. Eight inches taller than me look nothing like it shut. I hit it down. And I still get up to watch it. The standard room and cry on whatever they call that graphic at the bottom they're bulk of that and show. Otherwise I would be. Looked forward to the show. So what US circuit break before government realize that not. At all. Yeah they're let out there. This is beautiful because that's how you view yourself because you you know that is and I feel bad comedians like I love having guys in and spending time comedians but. It's a never ending jazz club owner driver you from place to place your pouring it out there stereo today have no I haven't no no to look like what you've done the like so you're a comedian how'd you get in the comedy Doug stand open. What ordered her bra ads and Richie was. There. So it's it's just the net and he said that screwed people becomes the thing and in tune with everybody. But apparently hookers are also a big east sometimes you want and sometimes you don't sometimes it's a joke and sometimes garlic and for some companionship. Yeah I'd. Will this series hooker phase I went through. And it always respectful. But. And be remembered. Having that hubris to think it. You are going to be happy may have gotten good looking. You pick actually he did that bad. And I nominate with a mullet. Offered a cocktail and I well. To paraphrase the woman he shows up. At my door was blogs like to possibly 125 inch arms legs and skin otherwise it would subscribers hard to market. It. In the days before the Internet weary and it. Trust the the description and that you're tired or whatever whatever. Patrick. 5220. Blonde sound good doesn't think she's not collection fifty. Rangel at eight babies. That's that's the mid section C of the capital group. But that doesn't fat babies laid back and bit my pants up like its entry. She was really account she crawled up on all forces started to give me a mouth on her breasts hanging like leeches on a dog's belly. Yeah yeah. I actually looked around the room to show someone else would you be written and I was by myself but I. It I remembered it because I had to do more in radio and you'd been afterward. The next morning and I organizer and let's call this escort. They're good kids. They're a module. It's called out and we're gonna do it and the producers didn't fit other it would Edgar could we can get news about. And escort service I bought up. All the awful it is in the U. Ports well the best part is after screw with all these people mean hard core non stop looking at right I you do show. A bit of mercy for the hooker you don't wanna teller I cannot let you want to. You know ego you're you're not a cruel and you're none of it in that fashion. No well it's a huge Elvis story. Adequately for direct purely. It's so. Well it's it's well I was met with cancer he doesn't want her on that she goes amount him. In the he has them that flash of brilliance which is I just know you you don't run of the bed and watch me Max debate. If so then he. That's like that it is. I'm just trying to sure she doesn't feel bad about her though. I'm trying to pretend he's not in the room. That it would if it ready. Seemed the product you know he would feel like he'd better get yeah. It is a good thing he showed up in this Gardner it was a Greek case. As important as your users are iron saying she Wear dresses like that so that aren't that wouldn't think she's a prop it. If you are cured but it won't eat. On what that your process. Actual fighting a worker. I was struck by your but I am struck by the kind of situation though it's it's it's so it's it's a random. Streak that that red streak you don't you always punch up I guess that that's an public supports it you seem to be the guy who always punch out never. I tried it yeah that you have to punched out. Yeah well it did David David David mail you a grown man with the content of charges the stage it's it's you evil dug the what you say I'm evil. Well technically didn't comedy where they get broke and there. Queuing up greatly different karaoke theaters karaoke night and day though. A look at the comedian ray and the karaoke so he was slipping comedian and get on stage time. Yet on opposite dumb. I don't. Apparently fear that another word mongol it is probably law now. It used to Mongolia as well. That I am. Bungle it where ego I think he actually might be from Mongolia. He. He rushed the stage after I get up and he grabbed the microphone it started yelling at you but. What are you. Wondering how to get this guy eight. It very awkward. What you can't quite go you know bomb Russia because the disabled. And if he did while ago he was persistent this became the rallying cry for all of us into further adventures. Are. And then everybody gets landscape when it comes. The hookers and semen. You're with their friend Dennis Hopper the moonlight bunny ranch and a another good regulars this air force Amy who is a fun nominal human bit. Are you know a course she's so funny. Well that was another one where you would operate as we were opened up there and edit that yeah I'd be pretty good a girl on. You know. Note note charge I'll cover it. Titans did she get an eight file went back to her room. But I had a white blood exciting but it's not like you're myself while she does whatever. I really cheating. And so get paid achieve it she deserves it. Outfit at the top one help but this is a great example Johnny. There aren't quite as they call I hate to blame Louie CK for climate change. The company industry. I've relieved myself unmarried my teacher. And I came out aren't covered in my old silk. And it's an assistant producer whatever director Eric I really needed on the set. You're walking actually and I gay are getting paid man Dick we had a great shoot give me a hug. Eager to give it might know an awful. The day it came out two wayward dignity and that you know film and PR post efforts by elite. Everett did it. I hurt. An excommunicated. From children that it is. He said he liked me to explode in your shop or tearing. Away at your own. I. I. Don't say it. But yet he's the kind of economy and who would not insult of weaker than my effort you know there's there's ads that streak of generosity the ransom mr. Stan you know it from the halfway through the book right now and it's it's it is. It's it's. It is. This is not paid by the way is out now he's the perfect you get your mother grandmother and you're young children for Christmas. It's. It's nothing says happy birthday baby Jesus like the new. Book this is. Yeah it says block port on the the last two and there's there's there's still suicide you know but they're more foreign. A well that's that's the thing is it's. You're bound you have your own morality your own sense of justice and that I think is that they love about your company's. Like it's it'll come from the very real place of anger and observation but there's a there's this bizarre lights and hope. Code and whatever that that kind of runs all the way through it again comes back like mostly it's all about punching up a and you you look for via the hypocrites. Not so much easy the soft arts. I'd like like I. Could do that at. Nothing else than to assuage some inherent guilt and a lifestyle like that. Yeah oh yeah oh it's in the drug usage themed public in Vegas when you bend you you doing math. Can they when they called crystal I remember that and and you're gonna go to around too little brothel leader ordered an birders go out. And so he's a hundred bucks off the -- but the guys in the couple of these do an album with the other guy's got a much better idea as. It is early or whoever and it's really. Easy trailer park. It bullet Las Vegas. Neighbors are one that I scored Matt from. I always a good part of the allure of living in Vegas at the one thing that dogged him legalize prostitution just outside. Pull up. I was all excited to go updates good bet what about neighbors and excelled while all of a big planter. He looked it hurt is that public Republican because it caught yet there are probably a 150 bucks which sank I'm not quite sure. And you look it is what is an adult pregnant Padraig goes. What would you drive although it erupt. You could put my wife there. And 130 dollars and fifty. Your government dollars. I thought about it. Marty did drink given due to bad. It means gas in the drive. He. Election or didn't lighten my trailer. And it impacted our two later I would you like about it a little bit more that an accurate look you're has been in the right now. Tony it deprived the cabinet and the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That Greg our due later knock on my door. You ought to do it again. Great appropriate part of it. That. You. Yet he wouldn't worry. What brought it back. A recording and I don't know about it and. It is so good and this is so this book gills and as I know how truthful these stories and then you you. Early passport to this life of just. Incredible highs and successes you talk about it. You be friends that you would dampen doing what hilly but. It's always a weird twist you Rick. You took him to target for the first time is in his life right I mean you know a huge star and he'd never been hints at a target stores. And I was expecting paparazzi. Call for paparazzi. Figured I can't walk out of a restaurant without yup people lingering waiting to take pictures but if you go out would be one error. Target need to block around dressed as Johnny Depp in the looks like he's. Just opposite of higher than at any given day. Trip is like that any ways actually and it quotes. A couple of ladies and hobby or hockey or whatever you call like Jerry Ford people I think it's because. It was in the Arctic melodies and Hollywood. Where people thought he must be look alike. Why would any other star would be wearing a baseball cap and oversized sunglasses. Booty. Have you looked like that you must deal lookalike. I believe your for humans ease this is like gay pirate. Who directed. You. Need that I think he gets you you it's a big. All out there are negate billionaire. I've heard that about that. Lives maybe he shouldn't hide in the bathroom you call hookers. It. What what is audio version of their. Audiobook did for the last one. What we did its outlook was read through it but one we got to do. People that are in the book that we use that we could get armed audiobook we stopped and then. And then command podcast I L and Al bared side of the story what they remembered differently anything that could add. And I really hope that these that was disallowed because there's a lot more really wanna get there and talks to go to that side of the story. That basically it's just one chapter hookers I know Ricky bang in the drugs and hookers part. I was never Greg anywhere near drug addict or user it's just. Story when war on drugs tend to be funny to watch. Didn't bury. Barry hunter S Thompson in in in my eyes met when I read you got his huge honor at a going get this because that's the same way I do drugs like it's fun to go to Amsterdam get gent the bomb mushrooms and see what happens in the store. That doesn't distort where I'm not dealing drugs to get sick around taking care myself eat well absent fruit smoothies with flax seed capital funny story I'm. In the book you dig every minute of every day as we get out and you know. Calling someone for money but that's not true chit those that funny story. Well there's nothing under the doctor drew did the forward for your book. That's got us it's up. Ballot that was a coup. I have never tracked anyone has brutally addicted doctor drew it that bit from I forget which special before turning Donna I think it is. But yeah I I attract some light on a personal level professional level. Everything that you activate at fourteen minute fit in total. And I get its podcast. It. Immediately followed publicly. Is the worst thing you make of that fact. First I mean I will abide by principles on Celebrity Rehab and AA. But he's yeah he's a really nice guy. And now it's it's awful when you want to be. Fire on somebody so badly you meet me like. He's like real sincere he's a good person got it but that's that's a piece that active. We are here it's gonna ask I'm talking number crash and the other day. And we're talking about the podcast. In 8080 reveals that Johnny Depp like a year job eventually come on over let's get hammered and do the podcast. At my hands again. Who is turned over their house their did Johnny Depp he's not there. It just turns over the house with him and have fun knowing YouTube bastards like knowing how far can go. I'm sure he'd bought it. Higher level and oh yeah and imagine that it's truly does a whole cul-de-sac. Most industry. It's important that made it was that big yet it's called Leo. Only about four and it's. One of the guests. Let's. But it if I had a bunch of friends picked up the bid the you know I'm not tablet is doors open say. You will send an alternate at the united uses. So are you going. You've got the book out ego of that under and a tour hard all through the the winner in the spring when he what's the story with what's gonna. And now unfortunately. Come off the road would say I couldn't wait to get off the road but now there's so much material that I feel like you're saying. All that they'll beat you. Yeah I know I'm just taking copious notes come not on the road again until March. I think it's still going to be in place. Let me do this you've got of course this week you're gonna get. You're really still board at route and so self destructive I would imagine that you're gonna have a whole another book of stories just between January and march. I'll go to my and that we're actually. Do. Take vitamins. Break a lot of green fees eat movies or asparagus could be good. And it should. Data as those who were trying to you know. Wreak no later used to make it about a year. Or have a lot of but I'll have a lot of material there all all the hate it you've developed from being. Vaguely Hilbert. There's a big asterisk on vaguely. Arc. It's stuff that's quite a loved one and it. I don't hardly see in the book. That they're pictured in a book when their black in light smaller kind of grainy but if you look at that picture of me to Chicago comedy festival. We. In that process of exposing myself in front of Louie CK. Coming what they want that cracked a few months ago. But I'm so happy that I put that picture there hoop. I got a great. Pick up that great. Not an elegy for the book put. So yeah I expose myself to be abusers. Are we do it. Who do you think taught Louie CK do expose himself in front of people's dogs. You afraid that as a grade picture beat woods in Hamburg we are and murdered grow ninetieth day. And that's very important at Bristol. Yet no expert Barton 050. I thought it fact that if that was a pot head. Pitcher Bert. It occasionally Coke machine burnout before heroin and. I think it's just it doesn't seem to be any end in sight it would freaks me out. Is you haven't lost any of the vitriol that edge and it just keeps getting bigger and rolling forward for you. Yeah it always seems like it it's about and it. I can't figure out how to how to I ever write jokes are. Hit with what you eat anymore and I'm washed up. But you'd still like that every year he was the comics and you know since I thought I was a compact I thought oh it's over though. You can we don't what I do in terms of god I just hate myself more and always works itself out. You know it you don't have to worry about your hardly great it's your industry. Jessie and one of one of us we both words that were in that relationship right now with the industry were both looking at each other we both know the other one wants to break up we're just trying to figure out who's gonna do first. And let degrade your ballot. You're like a guy who learned although he'd be lingo. You it is that. It. Mildred and Corning is it that you don't know that we're going to be answered when you go great squad nine. We've got to get you listen and interrupt the show to give me the rent is where our and that. And I appreciate you get up and you don't do radio anymore and the book is great this is not fame. I will come and finish it and if you get bored in your field super. Chipper 1 morning after we get back from vacation and let's will wrap up another talky if you would like to bad but it's. It's always good to your voice like. I might have been back out there my sister are just moved there always fun to go torture gains and then he should have been monitored. That's what. Inman was the first guy whoever threw up in my studio and I got brand new and a radio we have imminent agers walked in what time and end of every minute he's talking. And you made the panic phase grabbed attract and interest just kept projectile vomiting into it. If you listener what any time he's been on my podcast we get blind them up. Like at the all he did make him crazy and make him go off the rails. And within the last one and followed suit would not have a lot of big gap and it never let it get to his blog. You don't want that well in the movie this. How could and years and indicated on Twitter could have an old story. All well. And you are Catholic in a moderate. And then followed suit and have them on the air event. Do we get developed it's amazing radio. You. But this year you're right gravity or eleven Brothers and again this is not names out now by the Christmas everyone realizes that. You'll let spirited.