MITCH FATEL 12.19.17..mp3

Tuesday, December 19th


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Are different is on the hotline I'm we're gonna miss them he'll be in downward dog Mitchell tell does that come into the am proud to north port to the seventh Mitch. Is incredible comedian. Greta and crazy great standup comedian and there's Holmes and others who accidentally. It gives you think these companies over the top like you did you get policy component. Tonight show HBO here's an office where perversion all the but there's all a genuine life that he has that's a whole another perverse universe that you. Who witnessed it. Born in Manhattan and raced in Yonkers, New York. Well attending the NYU school of the arts he worked as an engine for the Howard Stern Show. You launched a standup career becoming a regular at the same company seller why. Parents and all the late night talk shows Buford is CDs super regional. Public display of perversion in January 4 through seventh you can see life onstage at the end problem please welcome. The show itself. We're its executive freshman or joining policy. Yeah I. Am. Kiosks. Basically Dylan. Blog and attracted you spirited in here ligament but doing it. Some guys want to say OK okay do nothing beats him from from G. Well yeah Louis CK Kim actually watching it. I want to make sure yet. A long range and was he needs of Tamil united new baby what is the craziness. Well. First of all was this on purpose. Yeah. Did you I have the worst child sort of law. I love talking to you a little bit you know a billion challenge on talent and shut equitable. Labor told me that but now I had to be the only admitting it to people like. It circulate it made me a better person admiral Blair admitted that it. I can get nervous like look cute that you cried like my old friend election I oh yeah get your public. Every tellem and arguably you knew you coming out and I get a little nervous I would like. You're gonna complicated. Late. I know you're there nerd to emulate the cool kid in school that I would have always wanted to hang out and again you're you're probably beat me. Owned us and look what you can never disappoint me Mitch but you know when a fan I am I don't. Even though. He called you up yeah I had a baby and pretty amazing how one one because. I don't really bad childhood and I wanted to play. It then looked like or Kabila budget. Is that right really. Our water. We're aware that child I mean I didn't agree child the that would mean it was like my dad was burning cigarettes you know it was a terrible to hear your average you know run of the mill whiskey tango waitress from an interest income and child. Which might but it it sure he cared. They. I love that. It's. Been in any any would. You call will. Probably gave cigarette. I mean yet one and have a candidate also I tell you it's the best remembered love it a little data. I being adapted in particularly now. And being a dad I'm credit. A lot of credit where you what pilot while credit that I am not murdering another would be. Because I haven't but you get credit for that but my. Main problem. Any other of the Indian it would be I would bird. And the and I get away security like what you are. Well he couldn't are loving it probably. For an hour and repeated right now. I. I. You should have alerted him to get and I don't murder might not need I mean now and Chichi you have loved it. You guys a photograph of view would one million did you get a kids if he gets clogged up the nostrils as I suggested. Get out and am very frail little you know sinuses so you have to use your own actions a big big flexible strong that you suck the book is. Oh my but it note that it felt the ankle but not soccer and yeah my little boy he gets. There it backfire is really cool gonna get you get will not let happen though and it probably. Look emulate. You love the way. I would never. You're and he did you could look you know you get out. Happy and they all have something called. A windy there I India you know what is it to you it can't market. I know that there are needed but apparently they have issues. Yet far which is weird could. I putted that in mind Portland at. That that I'm on the champ at that let the one that greeted as far. So. My kids are yet to the argument by. It caught it I just pulled up what condom. As a going along with you. This is. Two up third period. Like that it might. It's blatant it's explain with a windy as the people that sweet sound relief. I these little boys or girls who can't or that they're all that implement I don't think. I liked what we need ego weighed before they're done it it's what kept cook Turkey. We can't do any literally hurt. And that like for a couple weeks by what noted here targeted use I'm getting credited with that the Warren did. Hit their cries but now you are my real what you are they can't or you've got to put it. Thirteen QB and thereby. It looks like slide whistle. Like it's that inner tube that goes to bigger tube in you basically is inventing the kids bottle. What really disturbing about it is motto what regular public I'll wait and looked at me. If elected he would violate go get my ball. I have on your bitch I did. Making it more like. He did it it and and then the person who could. And and it will by the late in the area round. So well. Out there well I'd I'm not gonna have a girl. I wonder girl back. I'm like. We'll sensitive guy that's why wouldn't it wouldn't want an inning out in dental and it. You know Mike should you can I was crazy. Go windy about. What I said if you needed it. I would give you'll wind. There and that's important because relic I would want you to give our best threat that it was something they think that they were up so that when he stepped you. I thought about it and what was. Would you let venting your kids bumble. Are there and then make bar and then these mildly. Didn't. And then and then you feel humiliated that you detected particular you'll get that robbery yet they'll let the love that is. If that child will do anything. And it in my life that I'm like private sector and want to that's. Hewitt another three ways you went from three ways to pregnant heat no more sex that kids would but whistles by the way does it make a noise when at least his. I feel it should have a little little little that you Whitman who. Yeah. It actually got better things like that up one of the pat shouldn't be in the yeah its what did. Hey I thought my body I've got kids and yet triplets triplets. No kids up and triplets it was like watch I thought they were going to die not to kids the parents I thought I was one dollar human beings winter. If there was one more of what it 11 back. I'd be in Mexico. And I would and I have a good man but I would leave I would be back. I understand now guys who wouldn't eat that apple clearly. Really. And advocates that the not my line. About it like I would never do it but I under and it now I this ticket that they couldn't support relay. You can't just doesn't have any sense at all look like I didn't just leave you didn't wait you guys out of Florida and back. Near the gate you'd want to quote incidentally I got to commit now I need to get that they're at the. Here's what he gets weirder and so he's my best closest friends and one day and a host of Google maybe. And I go for age and region and grab eat them any screams because you. Oh. I go what would mean it just is is that it was their kids treat when trying to potty train and that's they get a little loose Snickers bar a little. Eagle you have some people who came. Time I saw him stick his seat it's all you hear the experts in your bubble. And I'm I'm embarrassed to admit that I you were candy and it's work wonders me and my whole life so. My kid beaten get April candy that. I can even imagine I'm not give Obama a candidate. Oh from from. Cutting lines did the improved as I know what do you make that it's crazy to me and how do you make this job. Last whom we have crossed as you. Just come back you were tightly and with your girl when god only knows what dirty sex if you work our way to Derek yeah. So how was now settled is that as good as it is what what's gonna happen. Well I'm gonna go to trial and accurate and world report in my book. I'm on the violent dark. If it is windy pretty you'd have them give you remember what it actually worked and. Well I mean though that in my life I need either one maybe it wasn't going to be funny to into the lead on an Indian bit weak side of me. You know me about like we're gonna have to that let them alive and it was really fun and then one day. I did her. Hey we don't want it great but you know I okayed it repeatedly let that she had really Ichiro. There are levees built much the only thing that I've ever regretted it means that and it think that would be a bit New York State in the little baby. And and I started crying. As Blake although I got a New York City you can although you know like all the create these great burst out. She I would. You know at you know hot issue. In the lead at girl the world monopoly and I lover so much like. Liked I liked it you know I'd be your week the data and I sort of crime that they don't know John Garrett. That's what. Cry and like let them baby and it can relate it back. Jet the that the yet Florida ticker that she'd never wondered it is good that it certainly should start crying slick looking at every nick and I know. You all birth control. We go on the team in January of last year. And she walked out wearing pink docket now I don't know about you I'm not in love that might it might let it stop. And Beirut that united and right afterwards Blake I think you'd made it made me eclectic group and not make try extra hard. Look at that you're you know it would work program in the they can beat you don't know. Of course we know that that's why we have that urge you to propagate the species act I don't think we're running out of people's on a feel OK I'm glad you have maybe not like babies. Mired in usually partly its docket. Just wouldn't let me we're glad because on the news that popular. And and that he had no. October 10 October 9. Well Matt popped out and he. Q rating can't get that plug started you've got to caveat that the windy and now all the bad. If you don't want he's beautiful he really I was looking at the pictures you put a line that are in his expressions are so cute like the picture of him in this. It's not too cute so I think this not Cuba. It's really like the kids got a great look at his face like that's right here. Yet but I think the good thing the background lets which they tell like he did that they yell at the picture myself and that. And I needed really cute kid and I'm what you material but I I got to play and never let it register about a kid I thought. I probably wrote it securely. The boring like there you realize like what I'm brilliant actor like its cut. Well known to hold well you know look at the picture but it's too kids base. You don't look like you can do and Zelda really don't like it almost looks Photoshop gives faces a vote. Yeah that would in the you say and it didn't I get paid Jeanne is. Whatever like adult conversation. Out jet ski in the media today. All it would have packed it in that report comes to detonate it. You know we're we're parent now we have got to churn out about each other like Leighton turned out in public. It's stupid that ever ever heard. That much forensic file that you have insurance policy in Berkeley. Exactly. I think and I'm not take them out of each other but not explain how much money you took out on the other person just to keep. Albeit in what was and I'm not here I'll be people I'm not give elect would murder me she saw the air that's been human beings are at technique. Like I believe why it is that I have never I'm not a big cart guys bush. I always. One of the Porsche. A Porsche fighter. There were caught it but it's never repeat that now cause I gonna go to war that. But I'd like insert bought it December that it I. I can't promise you my wife about it yet but but my reflexes they're going to be its path. And oh. Like I know I'd be in my court now eighteen fighter couple weeks later with my new stripper wife. And you know little mapped out our. On her lap and I bit my wife and I feel like I'm never got bootleg. Well. It took him weeks to call me up at that. It. He'd Wear a mere human he's coming and by the way you'll be BM drop January 4 here's the seventh so it's it's a couple weeks away. I don't deliberately in the day you lead. What I'm. My buddy well but he briefly. Was in this ridiculous relationship like on ought you know you don't give everybody who. Finally. Meets an incredibly hot (%expletive) that's Texas over the top. She and he may not get along very well he can't stop doing it because she's. She's just slowly murdering his life if she's she's a race. Persian and he's English so those two people could never get together because one guy's trying to please she was like of the Jihad if she has ran with it. So he's been. Beat up with him in Poland and and that would otherwise go to Jack Republicans get in trouble for yours and off to Amsterdam for a little Bible study. And you believe in that I I would never have I got a sheltered and stuck them like that New York. Yeah like. But one candidate like yeah I can give it and it makes sense then almost all of its input trap and I'm not a kid knows in the years. I think your grandma do though you're gonna be yes but just me. You're going to be great you beautiful white people did you do a great material meant going to see them special this is going to be a whole another chapter. Yeah yeah I'm ready when you step that I gotta remember earlier than ever speaker. Use it failed cared much anyway that's what I'd love music I really like the thing or break. I'm right on the old member like I didn't like I'd like ideologies nitty regulated that the idiot and. You know and people go late. Good data like. A lot now it might that they got cool. Well under applied becoming a shared you know actually. I'm gonna bring in the mediocre one in the dark you know you can we don't know that cool that you've been my friend. Of course. I've my helmet and my helmet was heartened but he was super honest and until he was hard working so he always had my level respect although the he was always angry but. Now Nikki Haley and she can't wait for her dead drop dead that's improved jumpers met her she said that I was like you kidding to keep in touch huge beach you. In an individual story there which you really like yeah I get mail to Mitch Mickey Mickey buddy I get pissed when other people go before him. You. Know outside the fact that you are white like that report that too late. And and I'd be embarrassed if I get. We. Would you be my daddy's big guys like you know. Barton. And you wouldn't India on a cell and just really impact your dad and I. And that the Jack for that matter played Adelaide he. That her directly. And and I met hard and late oh yeah and I got good. And jet caught me cheaply. Not my dad's is that Dick and I don't care I don't. I don't feel like secret key that could load it up isn't it I don't relate to that though they try to game meat company it. They separated from my parents you know you know. Still she's on the right path with that just do your own thing and BU is the Dickey getting married by that. It's like nepotism I think that we consider ourselves like are you still Barrett my mode and then wonder what would it kinda like you'll be people. And then you know. I get. Do like them but. Might add was that bit hard working guy like he he yelled a lot because he's old school when Armenians as honest as it is hard working and just. So again not a lot of hugs but but always I mean you know isn't really dragnet for short. And that article but in my mom called that would never Vegas comedian with Jamal Lewis. I have a word am. I. I got a Letterman. And my brain called Obama what they say the average got a letter bit above my boat. Yet you probably talk some girl into letting him get on the show. Like you could be heard. Up until they have this little hot girl like you thought if the lead in the shoot out well in the month and. I'm it would inadvertently and so is she really didn't mean to treatment the day we should totally his English as she's she gave this advice that sixteen to. Any you know that was sleep with you run away and sleep with anybody because they're not special. Sort of exactly what. A well you love your mom now is that quote that you hit it repaid other good equity backed Lynette didn't. Think that's it I mean I was like it's what hurts is it's true I'm not special and that's absolutely. Judy. Well actually I get it. I bet I think the reason why network is because let approval wrong and I lawyers that. Albeit which you actually in your favor of the month old baby you're so special equality. Would love it today other kid that is so good to get trophies at the Bergen kicking a ball. They grow up never tried any big title birdied the thing. Now than there was none of that last let me assure you nothing went on the refrigerator whenever he told how good. Nothing went my dad remember him yelling because I make a bong in high school in ceramics. So the guy I would let you go into the end of the day and it's magical hammer after it was glazed and set. And that may begin after he was Smart rate he knew what a long list of race and I feel and my dad's look at this. He's looked and never forgave look at this look at me look at the paper look at me read this would be the mayor he goes. I'm damn you failed to end up and underwater basket we didn't look at that and my. And it was a little bit but again that's markedly. I don't think I've been. And let me just unbelievable like yet he worked on avionics and military I was wondered were getting an athlete that some ran. Vineyard David making me think that we expect that your parents this week you know like David dream can't we let that you talked to viewed well. So blessed and. Groups electorate may choose to so that we lived in this little neighborhood little you know split levels and poor but not elect middle class and age of the other web. Only decades. So I believe insulin injection acute across away thinking about grossly goal which they were so that's like you know him a little bit yeah but we were cut back at kids so my Brothers and I couldn't play them. And some weren't allowed to go there paired with a prisoner arguably was. And so all summer we watched these kids playing in the new above ground no were across the eight feet of asphalt anchor so when I got a great idea right. And address where I go get garden hose my dad gone hardware but he's an extra. Water. Nice and cool. I'm in the driveway at some flat my dad comes home and don't give myself an attractive. If he gets out and did but it instantly assume it's at least when close to a thing we didn't talk interesting. And trash can. That's bull and terror caught temperature. Now I understand he was maybe a little bears of the neighbor's pool and his kid was an album strict. Christian. All all of it from that is great ideas and that I'm. I'm what about a couple garbage and I'm not bite of Brigham or a personal swimming pool it's not a garbage. I liked it uneven one I'm Mozilla my son. Then then that's true. Alma and agencies trade does best he always did his best. Yeah well it is your Mantilla. Yet he is he's gotten it's he's got alzheimer's is very sweet now now is like the sweetest guy ever. Like it's it's a es he's he's doing fine again couple nursed a ticker my mom and dad at their house and into it all works itself out but. He's so nice home is like is he like I mean he would pull more pictures like given it was just. My brother can moment they'd say I was too old school that you cannot spank us anymore if you spank us and call the police Managua's what numbers he goes 911 because. The vote my brother picked up the phone and my dad smacked it out of hand and cranked him across the side of the bed with a couple of gone I'm telling my mother's eyes and watch it I was like oh yeah okay ever. All right the good and the world our little bit and everything about everybody on my dad. I tell them politically powerful. I want that dad that. I want you remember the time I thought the aliens did I destroyed. You know that the big the ship came and went up inside if you would like he's like it was it was another move a little bit. About a minute elevator having ordered or. Whatever. The Mattel Canada Olympic gold medal. Let awkward gripping you're picking terror ended up my mom is getting out on the Internet unit. She probably the same story twelve runs in a row a couple of Ehrlich. And no not yet they get older and and they get leak Bob Bob Dylan and actually Obama is done but I'm that it did. Ambien you know and the years that. Leaping to which it did and it I don't know I'm giving secret here actually delayed but apparently eat that Indian needle we. It Blake put you in the late. Look he has acted like any mom. Figured that well she doesn't all the time and that should start walking around out to apologize in the but what I'm there actually on I mean he would you were kit. I go Bob you'll find you know I was you know they are pretty much bet that it could it. Too little too late statement nursing home a little bit. Yeah. You have a LaMont and actually do it. That's the part that he thought I feel good critic gene died before she'd done that. I think I would accept my whole life but now I feel like is the than cordial like pat anger and if you did you know you need to know not be angry about it don't need the money elderly you know the other night that. I would allegedly then we go weeks ago it was looking at his plate and he looked at me ulcers in these. You can still fingers. They went right back to eating I think it. Our our I was like oh yeah right now did do it no one's no jail no less in which is a who. I'm glad he's. That's great I love a wanna have been out there. You know what you're not going to be that is if I can't they have you did absolutely. He'll look at you funny but he'll eventually go for. Every day that it like it. I love you man in congratulations on match. And hello to everybody and you create guys before the seventh of January trade report the sympathy improper here in Kansas City the great Mitch Patel. And I hit it don't admission by. We get you back for a big theater show would do something just not something that we can have some fun and that's a good. But does have a bit Q I have relatives. Sorted here by you unhappy visit them bring Mac so please stop by to say hi OK I would love that and movement on about the future. Garbage can be a convenient. And I don't mind. And I definitely could.