NICK SWARDSON 05.16.18..mp3

Wednesday, May 16th


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Born October 9 in Minneapolis Minnesota. He's a stand up comedian and actor who has turned in memorable performances in such films as blades of glory. The bench warmer us and grandma's boy. Was the Comedy Central series Reno 911. And his numerous comedy specials. And on Thursday June 7 you can see him live on stage at the uptown theater. Please welcome nick sworn soon. Are you. Look for a job. So you coming attendance here what we're android reading my credit this it and you got the only game robust world. Will knock your robot probe bisexual trainer from once wolf after about what you know or. Well my brother has everything. I'm great man already do you do. And what did you mr. Graham on Tony's birthday Tony Hawk. And I'm looking at the deck Tony Hawk who gave you signed here and I'm just like I. He had a good is it to be a star and then look through it if you and David Spade and Tony Hunt busting each other's balls in the Indian comments. I think it. With some bizarre highlights certain days but used. Just thought I love love putting our two great here's what sit there isn't awful this is worthless easy. The every time I've ever been anywhere near him and just that I'm. Always remember to stay because he got like we're in Vegas was sitting in the barn as his beautiful girl walking into decreasing. All the walls getting lower and lower. And I CDC more Mortimer and you see David Spade pop out and I was like on how does that. She's about a foot taller and ten times higher than any girl I'd ever get my entire life. Yeah for sure he's conflicts views so for me in that respect. Every time he invites you Summers like yeah we're going to you know I'm amazed by the premiere here. Go to dinner there's obviously it's some of the blogs sick. And yeah he is you know is a game I go you cynical societies like I don't. I don't fictional pieces. And number one that it will be my favorite moments we're. A computer. A single. They deserve our problems are and he was like super indoor. And yeah Adams cinemas mall October and you get dictate it any good doesn't use it on dates. And she's entitled my pleasure to any other items there. She has it been with the new blonde girl deadly day aren't you. David Stern Paul Reiser around and shake the coup stared daggers a I was standing right there I would love me through phone call triple. Credence in his mom's C block spades estimate that. And good and we are you hate so yeah you guys aren't serious. And you guys have done some good work and that would put the bunny games with a Olivia money talk about how girls I meant. She's not hot I mean we all know living months a horrible horrible disfigured looking woman that. So really ugly cast in Charleston now Libya long Dutch shepherd it. Now it's by far. A pan am that's us and its parent of course it was a person swimming and as he would choose you know there and he. I think that it's hard to work whether this can vomiting looking at everybody. The cross you bear the crushing burden borne so beautiful mix towards in just a scene of this opponent. Only and personality to us humans danger. Usually carry the burden of the outside the the most beautiful inside the world's ever now. Yes it's it's there I'm uncivil. I'm Rich Little children. Listen. I got a lot of flack because Bolivia and I are very close. And the Green Bay Packers fans is completely lost they're minds. So so I got poked in places and you know he and yes certainly in the light is whole day we're packer radio little. Do you seriously stop everybody was a comedy after me. You know I didn't get an insurance. Eric I will listen and Jerusalem and you can definitely be a month yeah he might purchase experience where. It varies it has its bone scan them think he Aaron Rodgers is that. You know nothing compared to I mean. Barely barely made the cut you know I'm talking about like lucky and. Yeah I don't let it go beyond his son's football yeah. And it's by choice but not in themselves quite short because you see here. A lot of people don't realize what you know you want other people have fun and play football I don't wanna roots work. It's just terrible game you see little kids they when the one team wins like a hundred to zero you can't do that you don't ruin everybody else is Sunday. You know it's not shatter. I moved very circles and. And for the record low Lama and choose and begged him. Just arrested he's using original Wii two or just it's it's all I'm sort. We have a movie about but it's an. Captions paid jobs Olivia back I'm Kevin Dolan is very it's. On their back also beat Chang in traditional society to its release movies so we're looking to come on I think it's all just let. I haven't seen the trillion so I'd say. What I would tell what is the bunny games. It's a test of its own dark comedy protect it could cost me about it who confirmed that they do this thing every year called the buddy so the completeness people have Olympics. So there's one year where. On the ice suit one of the guys that the people are at fault in the gluten both of those ball. The games sip and and then the guy for years later our life a lot happy we were released and anymore could be answered it kind of broke our friendship. And then that guy who's ball gets destroyed it. He becomes corporate it spiraled go to your mental institution and her mom liked what he had a great games that can get everybody back together and support him problems. Shut it looked like we hear are gripping because these gates. I want to show me. And it you know it's it's so bizarre but it's. If courts really crowded it is sound like a broad Lackey comedy but it's just. This Canada actually like really sincere. Moment of these guys try to get back together put the pieces back. We became what they thought they were gonna become even though that type of play. So that's how we never I mean that's why we loved those movies like listen we all are absurd and if you shot each other in the balls of peoples and let someone umpire you know since the ridiculous my buddy Dennis from you remind me of my child into this morning and I were friends we're roller skating expert in this house is teenage boys was I don't know what it's OK okay. We decided we jump over rodino taught. Over wrought iron table he didn't make it and tore his his screwed him well in open. And I'll never forget he was wearing brown quarter race and one test call. Was hanging out of the hole in jeans and there's quarters and skirt and this poor bastard members running the hospital within. And it then you're my entire child has made little weird stuff like that. Yeah of course I mean if you had to listen you keep a wound clean you and I both know that. And I sort of ripped open by a dog went out to cannot play it on my yard I was rounding third bridge or let it all. Hey dog jumped on it might not. So it's the first and see. I was there seniors ought to go to emergency room. And after the hole in my legs Odom and but the doctor lately we are so about my dad was that overly watching all wearing blue so awful. Yeah that's our baseball player could have played their old the salute. Everybody Nazi now there's dogs on the field. Doesn't matter how old we get how much success we have I literally had three more and I know you would do. More stories about friends bulls surgeries. Terrible things have happened I preventable cancer and one Freddy got a motorcycle accident had to pack his balls three times a day with seventeen feet of cause until the infection was gone like a magic trick like woo hoo. We'll go out and then repackage an immediate to have multiple times a day for like three months. Oh my picture that yeah. Cancellation on our campus and the truth about. It's completely horrifying. You'll be. Sickened all the same threat as well as the earlier in trucks or. Of course that's actual ice. You lie you you're going to be great you know you've been so many great movies that I forgot to jail. Wooden crates and the viewer another sad to see that there is immense it's the seventh that's awesome at the uptown. When it's it's unlike any others and I mean you. You've got that great. Weird I you know just like that that look at the world that it's it's a genuinely original way to do comedy. I think he's out of Stewart really pointed at something pretty special on. You guys this is the release forms that it's it's it's different. It's it's the same spot but it. They're kind of elements of Hulu or you know I just turned 41 sort talk about so you know presumably there's some good stop what's become our city. Can see a lot and I know I know announces compared barbecues also is slow government down. What people people literally think it is Earl hey maker and you just along are you science. It's the strangest stuff that people decide they could hook in junior actually bragged I've never I just scared people on the draw my last thousand years old I couldn't care less about the pay I love barbecue we have great barbecue but you're right to sports teams. Religion politics and barbecue sauce in this town I don't could do is build. Any. I'd like it that's when my parents who I hated when markets are. People are very and so we are being abrogated the spotlight. Is it that. Far outweigh. The. I think they. I open dog bite your bottles. It's your film and it's whenever. Don't tell me into and if your flight and then there's everything get in the leg before for any reason. Hey come on the show that Thursday morning Manuel handled it tells his toys and talk about the money games and everything that's when Alabama. That wasn't releasing somebody games again. We don't have to release date yet though he had on Monday it's rare that real exports are what are explosive. Our debate sooner than later interview she. We'll see Wanamaker crazier so. Yeah we don't have a set date yet to vote it'll be updated the amount that's exports and had a real export democracy. But I doubt I can kind of do you well I would love what we're after and see what when we get in the count actually had a great mix. I love you I love you completely now now you can always in the seventh. They can see is the perfect.